ELDEN RING

Elden Ring was my first soulslike.
It was kinda overwhelming when starting but I had tons of fun in my first blind run.
Like that's the great part of Elden Ring: you don't have to be this awesome Souls-Veteran to be able to enjoy the game.
You can just take your time with everything, explore the beautiful world, enjoy the view and smaller bosses.
The game doesn't push you to kill a certain difficult boss in order to get somewhere in-game. You're not forced to farm the same enemies for hours on until you're strong enough to continue your journey. You can just keep exploring & will eventually level up in the mean time. & if you're not getting any further with a specific boss, then you can just leave it be for now and do hundreds of other things instead.

Rise, Tarnished!
Easily the best game I've played in many years, and it deserves a longer review than most of you have patience for. I highly recommend it, and here's why:
Like many who play this game, this was my first "Soulsborne/Soulslike" game, as it is the most refined and user-friendly version of FromSoftware's game design ethos. I avoided the Dark Souls series for many years. I had a presumptuous view of FromSoftware and their visual aesthetic that made me feel this game was just sad edgelord material. I was so wrong.
Like all FromSoftware games, Elden Ring revels in struggle. Only the most basic combat mechanics are explained to the player; the rest is trial and error. It challenges you to tease out its mysteries, not just of the world and lore, but of the combat mechanics and UI. The game asks you to STRUGGLE (you need to be open to that to fully enjoy it), and oh boy, did I struggle...
I struggled to simply navigate the user interface, to find the extra info on weapon damage and scaling, armor ratings and status defenses, even item descriptions full of implicit lore that give the player a small understanding of what's happening in the Lands Between. I struggled to accept that not every field boss in the overworld was meant to be defeated when you first encounter them. I struggled to avoid traps and ambushes. Even when I gave up trying to play solo and attempted to use the Co-Op multiplayer system, I struggled to understand the seemingly obtuse system of items that enable it. Even after, I struggled against skilled and relentless Invaders, many of whom have been invading players since Dark Souls 1. I'm ashamed to say I struggled to not uninstall the game and play an easier one with a more forgiving learning curve. Such was my frustration.
Most of all, I struggled to get acclimated to the combat mechanics... Until, a whole 40 hours (and many deaths) in, something clicked. I started seeing and feeling a flow to combat, requiring a skillful dance between dodging perfectly into attacks and identifying narrow windows for my own attacks. I started to understand every movement and attack option's purpose and viability in different scenarios. I started understanding how to most efficiently manage my stamina, consumables, and other resources. I started seeing challenges and opportunities where before I only saw difficulties and defeat.
This began a shift in my mentality. The developers were not taunting or trolling me, like many players seem to think; they were inviting me to experience a true power fantasy, to feel a tangible sense of actual progression in skill and understanding. The game does not say "git gud, noob"; it says "rise, Tarnished".
So many modern AAA games are released with a product mentality first and foremost, and not even as good products; they are often unfinished, rushed, bugged, and bloated with profit-maximizing strategies like microtransactions. Elden Ring is the first game I've played in a decade that felt like a complete game, full of hundreds of hours of content.
So many games frontload their "best" content and force you to engage with it to force your interest, but much of Elden Rings best content is hidden or blocked by combat and platforming challenges. I have almost 3k hours logged, and I'm still finding out new things the game has kept hidden from me. This speaks so much to the confidence the developers have in their vision of an adventure fantasy game centered around discovery.
The game is not perfect. There are still some bugs and glitches present from launch that have no clearcut development solution. Many bosses, enemy types, and other assets are re-used all over the map to mixed effect. Some lategame and endgame content feels rushed and spread out. Perhaps worst of all, like all games with an active PvP element, the player community is rife with toxic players who seem hellbent on griefing others into making them uninstall the game.
Even with these glaring imperfections, this game shines like a diamond in a sea of coal coated with cheap craft glitter. It stands head and shoulders above almost all other modern AAA games in terms of intrigue, combat satisfaction, exploration, and story, and it doesn't even flaunt it. An understated and nuanced gaming experience is such a delight in an era where games are intended to feel more like blockbuster Hollywood movies rather than progressive adventures. Elden Ring is the culmination of FromSoftware’s singular and robust design philosophy, honed over decades of trial and error.
If you experience only one Soulsbourne game in your entire life, let it be Elden Ring.

nothing in this game was as brutal as the moment when my son saw me fighting malenia and started cheering for malenia
10/10

---{ Graphics }---
☐ You forget what reality is
☑ Beautiful
☐ Good
☐ Decent
☐ Bad
☐ Don‘t look too long at it
☐ MS-DOS
---{ Gameplay }---
☑ Very good
☐ Good
☐ It's just gameplay
☐ Mehh
☐ Watch paint dry instead
☐ Just don't
---{ Audio }---
☑ Eargasm
☐ Very good
☐ Good
☐ Not too bad
☐ Bad
☐ I'm now deaf
---{ Audience }---
☐ Kids
☑ Teens
☑ Adults
☐ Grandma
---{ PC Requirements }---
☐ Check if you can run paint
☐ Potato
☑ Decent
☐ Fast
☐ Rich boi
☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer
---{ Difficulty }---
☐ Just press 'W'
☐ Easy
☐ Easy to learn / Hard to master
☐ Significant brain usage
☐ Difficult
☑ Dark Souls
---{ Grind }---
☐ Nothing to grind
☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks
☐ Isn't necessary to progress
☑ Average grind level
☐ Too much grind
☐ You'll need a second life for grinding
---{ Story }---
☐ No Story
☐ Some lore
☐ Average
☐ Good
☑ Lovely
☐ It'll replace your life
---{ Game Time }---
☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee
☐ Short
☐ Average
☑ Long
☐ To infinity and beyond
---{ Price }---
☐ It's free!
☑ Worth the price
☐ If it's on sale
☐ If u have some spare money left
☐ Not recommended
☐ You could also just burn your money
---{ Bugs }---
☑ Never heard of
☐ Minor bugs
☐ Can get annoying
☐ ARK: Survival Evolved
☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs
---{ ? / 10 }---
☐ 1
☐ 2
☐ 3
☐ 4
☐ 5
☐ 6
☐ 7
☐ 8
☐ 9
☑ 10

After beating the basegame 3 times & the dlc there are a few things i noticed:
1. The game really likes tree's. Golden Trees, Big Trees, Sentient Trees, Dead Trees, Burning Trees, Tree Knights???
2. Never take a nap in a coffin, you will wake up at some f*cked up places. (Of course you do)
3. NEVER take advice from somebody who played the game before you did, chances are they are 100% wrong and biased because they think there is a "correct way" of beating the game
4. Just play the game the way you want to, this community has some really weird people thinking they do some sort of "pilgrimage" for beating this game a certain way & you're wrong if you dont do it the way they did.
5. Speaking of point 3, Age of Order Ending (Goldmask Dude) is the best one, you cant tell me otherwise
Great Game

---{ Graphics }---
☑ You forget what reality is
☐ Beautiful
☐ Good
☐ Decent
☐ Bad
☐ Don‘t look too long at it
☐ MS-DOS
---{ Gameplay }---
☑ Very good
☐ Good
☐ It's just gameplay
☐ Mehh
☐ Watch paint dry instead
☐ Just don't
---{ Audio }---
☑ Eargasm
☐ Very good
☐ Good
☐ Not too bad
☐ Bad
☐ I'm now deaf
---{ PC Requirements }---
☐ Check if you can run paint
☐ Potato
☐ Decent
☑ Fast
☐ Rich boi
☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer
---{ Game Size }---
☐ Floppy Disk
☐ Old Fashioned
☐ Workable
☑ Big
☐ Will eat 10% of your 1TB hard drive
☐ You will want an entire hard drive to hold it
☐ You will need to invest in a black hole to hold all the data
---{ Difficulty }---
☐ Just press 'W'
☐ Easy
☐ Easy to learn / Hard to master
☐ Significant brain usage
☐ Difficult
☑ Dark Souls
---{ Grind }---
☐ Nothing to grind
☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks
☐ Isn't necessary to progress
☑ Average grind level
☐ Too much grind
☐ You'll need a second life for grinding
---{ Story }---
☐ No Story
☐ Some lore
☐ Average
☐ Good
☐ Lovely
☑ It'll replace your life
---{ Game Time }---
☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee
☐ Short
☐ Average
☑ Long
☐ To infinity and beyond
---{ Price }---
☐ It's free!
☑ Worth the price
☐ If it's on sale
☐ If u have some spare money left
☐ Not recommended
☐ You could also just burn your money
---{ Bugs }---
☑ Never heard of
☐ Minor bugs
☐ Can get annoying
☐ ARK: Survival Evolved
☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs
---{ ? / 10 }---
☐ 1
☐ 2
☐ 3
☐ 4
☐ 5
☐ 6
☐ 7
☐ 8
☐ 9
☑ 10

A Contender For Greatest Game of All Time
This review is from the perspective of someone who 100%s games on Steam
---{ Graphics / Art Direction }---
☑ You forget what reality is
☐ Beautiful
☐ Good
☐ Decent
☐ Bad
☐ Don‘t look too long at it
☐ MS-DOS
Note: While things like texture quality, etc. aren’t the best in the industry, the art direction here is seriously something else.
---{ Gameplay }---
☑ Very good
☐ Good
☐ It's just gameplay
☐ Mehh
☐ Watch paint dry instead
☐ Just don't
Note: The sheer amount of different builds you can make here is outstanding. The enemy and boss roster is also one of the most impressive I have ever seen. Variety does fall off late game however.
---{ Audio }---
☐ Eargasm
☑ Very good
☐ Good
☐ Not too bad
☐ Bad
☐ I'm now deaf
Note: Nothing crazy here audio design wise, but the soundtrack is a bob.
---{ Audience }---
☐ Kids
☑ Teens
☑ Adults
☐ Grandma
Nothing to note.
---{ PC Requirements }---
☐ Check if you can run paint
☐ Potato
☑ Decent
☐ Fast
☐ Rich boi
☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer
Note: While you don’t need a crazy build to run this game, it does have some stuttering problems that persist no matter your build.
---{ Game Size }---
☐ Floppy Disk
☐ Old Fashioned
☐ Workable
☑ Big
☐ Will eat 10% of your 1TB hard drive
☐ You will want an entire hard drive to hold it
☐ You will need to invest in a black hole to hold all the data
Note: Nothing to note.
---{ Difficulty }---
☐ Just press 'W'
☐ Easy
☐ Easy to learn / Hard to master
☐ Significant brain usage
☐ Difficult
☑ Dark Souls
Note: It is a soulslike… enough said. Actually, I will say its probably the easiest soulslike if you take advantage of everything the game has to offer.
---{ Grind }---
☐ Nothing to grind
☑ Only if u care to
☐ Isn't necessary to progress
☐ Average grind level
☐ Too much grind
☐ You'll need a second life for grinding
Note: There is only really a grind if you really need more levels or want to level everything up.
---{ Story }---
☐ No Story
☐ Some lore
☐ Average
☑ Good
☐ Lovely
☐ It'll replace your life
Note: A bit less cryptic then games like Dark Souls and there is a lot here if you dig in. Can be a bit hard to find though if you don’t like reading item descriptions and piecing things together.
---{ Game Time }---
☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee
☐ Short
☐ Average
☑ Long
☐ To infinity and beyond
Note: Took me 115 hours to beat everything my first time.
---{ Price }---
☐ It's free!
☑ Worth the price
☐ If it's on sale
☐ If u have some spare money left
☐ Not recommended
☐ You could also just burn your money
Note: The amount of content and replayability is worth it even not on sale. I have bought this game twice, that's how good it is.
---{ Bugs }---
☐ Never heard of
☑ Minor bugs
☐ Can get annoying
☐ ARK: Survival Evolved
☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs
Note: Nothing major. Could consider some performance issues bugs though maybe.
---{ Completion Experience }---
You have to fight all major bosses, get all endings, and find most major weapons. This requires at least 3 playthrus although I will say that you can breeze through the game pretty quick on NG+. Could take anywhere from 50-100 hours depending on skill and how much optional content you do. No grinding though!
---{ ? / 10 }---
☐ 1
☐ 2
☐ 3
☐ 4
☐ 5
☐ 6
☐ 7
☐ 8
☐ 9
☑ 10
Final Thoughts
It is an all time great. Seriously.
P.S Feel free to friend request me on Steam if you want to keep up on my completionist journey!