Postal III

A buggy mess that will crash more often than you will likely expect. Regardless, I had a decent amount of fun with it and it's insane amounts of jank. I don't think most players will get much enjoyment out of this, or even most Postal fans, but I know I did. I'd give it a shot if it's on a deep sale. Or don't. I'm not your mom.

Postal 3 is the single worst game I have ever played. There is nothing quite comparable to this games level of ♥♥♥♥ so I wont bother trying to explain it to you. However, I love everything postal; from postal 1 to poostall royale, I've played them all and loved them all equally (with the exception of this game) so I gave in and bought it because I love what RWS do and I want them to continue doing it as long as possible. And if that means buying one ♥♥♥♥♥♥ game and leaving it to rot in my steam library for the rest of eternity then so be it. Please consider doing the same so that we can continue to receive the best content earth has to offer to another generation of postal teenagers.

its not as bad as people say, you guys are dramatic

it sucks. but with a little modding, unofficial patches and whatnot, it can make a terrible game, a great game.

Postal 3 sure is a game. Now the updates did greatly improve it, but there's no salvaging for this one.
The good:
- Combat is actually fairly decent. It's fun when you're not swarmed by like 50 enemies.
- The soundtrack slaps for the most part (the bridge theme gets annoying real quick).
- Corey Cruise lowkey does a pretty good voice for the Dude. Some of the voice lines needed better direction though.
- Catharsis looks pretty good. Probably a result of the source engine but yeah it's pretty.
- Zoom has done a great job to make an infamously buggy game as this tolerable to play. Throughout my playthrough I only encountered 3 crashes, and few FPS drops.
- Like 4-6 weapons total are actually fun to use.
- The cutscene aesthetic is nice. They vary from comic-like strips to film grain scenes.
- Few levels are actually well-designed and fun to play. The precinct level was a blast.
The meh:
- Almost all of the levels are just "kill ". It gets repetitive real quick. but this was started by Apocalypse Weekend and Postal 1 so I guess I can't fault it for that.
- There's no map, health pipes, food items, a stats board, or the option to kill the Dude. They're not inherently bad but can be off-putting.
- The Bad:
- The karma system is just bad all around. It's messy, doesn't work as intended, and is strange in a Postal game. Why are you getting punished for going postal in a Postal game? I had to download a mod just to fix it, and even then, its idea is still pretty stupid. Simply choosing paths between the cops and the cultists should be enough to determine the endings, but no, we need a morality system too.
- Majority of the weapons are either useless or are severely nerfed from Postal 2. The machete and flamethrower for instance were fun in the previous game, but here they're just generic weapons without the overpowered kick that made them fun the first place. Weapons like the vacuum sucker and badger have little to no use.
- The game often swarms you with tons of enemies that can tear your health to shreds in a minute. You're encouraged by the game to use the cover mechanic, but even then, you still get shot. All the large waves get really repetitive and annoying quickly.
- Now there's a free roam option, but in the main game, you don't really get to sightsee because you're always interrupted with the newest mission. The game follows a linear structure like Apocalypse Weekend, and much like it, doesn't really give you much of anything to explore.
- Majority of the humor just reeks. It's all either outdated memes or "haha sex".
- Achievements don't unlock unless you tamper with the game files.
- The boss fights are awful, all of them. They're all extremely tanky (literally for the final one), and just require you to gun and bail.
- If you're gonna use regenerative health then commit to it. Healing time is painfully slow.
- A really janky game. Bullets often don't land where you hit them, the AI sometimes downright ignores your existence, and the movement somtimes inverts itself (required me to restart the game).
All in all yeah Postal 3 does indeed suck. Not as much as the internet makes it out to be I'd say, but yeah it sucks regardless. I'd give it a neutral rating if I could, but I went with a positive because unfortunately it's a guilty pleasure.
You at least get to see the Dude's coma dream in Paradise Lost firsthand so I give it that.

this game i cant stop playing, its like someone is jiggling keys in front of me they got a rock behind their back rock that they keep beating me with and i fall for it every time

HEAR ME OUT: get the Ultra Patch (you can still earn achievements).

Is Postal 3 still trash? Yes, but isn't the whole series? This patch makes the game at least more playable. I was able to go into first AND third person, jump at my own will, and there's plenty of other accessibility options in the menu. So please, don't play this game vanilla. Give it a chance, but get the patch first.

As for the base game... it's meh. It's not Postal 2 level of funny, but that's not saying nothing's funny in this game. Corey Cruise does a passable job as the Postal Dude, but the story? Like every other game in the series, it's bad, so who cares? Except uh, this one's laughably bad.

My main complaint, though, is the morality system, and how you absolutely cannot stray off of the path, or else you're going to get a whole different ending. I mean, it makes sense, but even then, this is a video game--I hate making one simple mistake and ruining that run.

Besides that, though, it's a passable product. Not the best--just passable.