Yakuza 0

You either give up within first few hours of Yakuza 0 or you enjoy every single second of it and buy all Yakuza games on Steam. There's no in-between.
9/10

A list of what I did in my second ever play session of this incredible game

- load the game
- go through some story cutscenes
- disregard all story focus and go to the disco
- dance to friday night about 6 times
- do a dance battle with some guy
- decide thats enough dancing and go do karaoke
- spend about 10,000 yen on karaoke
- go for another look around and meet this guy who wants me to see if his girlfriend is selling herself, she is conveniently often seen on the street with the erotic video viewing shop
- decide to go play pool instead of doing that
- get stopped and searched by a police officer
- get mugged by the men in black and beat them up, repaying the money lost by karaoke
- go play puzzle pool (you have to pot a marked ball in a challenge setup in a single shot)
- lose said game and lose several million yen as a result
- play darts and actually somehow win
- decide to go and see if i can find this guys girlfriend
- go into the shop and it plays an actual irl video of this japanese woman in a bathtub in a bikini
- kiryu jacked off to that and i got an achievement

The male fantasy is to be Goro Majima.
The female fantasy is to have a Goro Majima

A lot of people praise this game for it's great story, absurd amount of detailed mini-games, and hilarious side quests - all very true. For me, one of the most amazing things is how they didn't license any 80's music for disco and karaoke. Instead, they literally just made a dozen or so original tracks for the game which are legitimately so good, they could easily pass as being pop hits from the 80's.

---{ Graphics }---
☐ You forget what reality is
☐ Beautiful
☑ Good
☐ Decent
☐ Bad
☐ Don‘t look too long at it
☐ MS-DOS

---{ Gameplay }---
☐ Very good
☑ Good
☐ It's just gameplay
☐ Mehh
☐ Watch paint dry instead
☐ Just don't

---{ Audio }---
☑ Eargasm
☐ Very good
☐ Good
☐ Not too bad
☐ Bad
☐ I'm now deaf

---{ Audience }---
☐ Kids
☑ Teens
☑ Adults
☐ Grandma

---{ PC Requirements }---
☐ Check if you can run paint
☐ Potato
☑ Decent
☐ Fast
☐ Rich boi
☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

---{ Game Size }---
☐ Floppy Disk
☐ Old Fashioned
☑ Workable
☐ Big
☐ Will eat 10% of your 1TB hard drive
☐ You will want an entire hard drive to hold it
☐ You will need to invest in a black hole to hold all the data

---{ Difficulty }---
☐ Just press 'W'
☐ Easy
☑ Easy to learn / Hard to master
☐ Significant brain usage
☐ Difficult
☐ Dark Souls

---{ Grind }---
☐ Nothing to grind
☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks
☐ Isn't necessary to progress
☑ Average grind level
☐ Too much grind
☐ You'll need a second life for grinding

---{ Story }---
☐ No Story
☐ Some lore
☐ Average
☐ Good
☐ Lovely
☑ It'll replace your life

---{ Game Time }---
☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee
☐ Short
☐ Average
☑ Long
☐ To infinity and beyond

---{ Price }---
☐ It's free!
☑ Worth the price
☐ If it's on sale
☐ If u have some spare money left
☐ Not recommended
☐ You could also just burn your money

---{ Bugs }---
☑ Never heard of
☐ Minor bugs
☐ Can get annoying
☐ ARK: Survival Evolved
☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs

---{ ? / 10 }---
☐ 1
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☑ 10

this game kinda misleading, it says yakuza 0 but there are a lot of yakuza all around you

A story that can make me cry tears of sadness and laughter just minutes apart. It impressively juggles serious emotional storytelling and comedy hijinks without a sense of tone whiplash.