Fractured Minds

一款小游戏。没有营造很恐怖的氛围，但是却能感受到无处不在的压抑。他们眼中的世界是怎样的我不知晓，但我想那压抑感应该是常常萦绕在他们心上。那种压抑来自内心，却又难以战胜。

As someone with C-PTSD and was disabled to go to school since 2018, my life was effected from long term traumatic events and depression since the age of 8, then then i was hospitalized after suicide attempt, i thought the hospital would be my hope, cause everyone is bad except doctors, right? i was put on many "anti-depressants", which are inhibitory drugs like SSRIs. i trusted the doctors. i used drugs to get through more traumatic events, because the mechanism of action is to simply rob away all of your feelings. good and bad. at first, i still had fun playing video games, i was able to get myself a computer after the suicide attempt, but then i stopped going for showers. i stopped going to brush my teeth. i thought it was depression getting worse, because i thought the drug was supposed to help me, because doctors are good, i was put on more drugs, and kept changing drugs, until i kept getting worse. i stopped removing trash, i stopped going out, and last, i stopped playing video games. it was the biggest deal of my life because video games was everything to me, i lived by myself since 12, not that i was raised by my parents at 8 anyways, but the loss of interest started drenching into everything. i tried to killmyself manytimes because i don't see a way out. i was put on more drugs. sure there was abuse going on, but i was used to it, so i knew something was wrong with the drugs. i went to do research, about CPTSD, TMS, Ketamine, ECT, before these i tried almost 20 different drugs from all class. at last i did a FMRI TMS experiment, it didn't help with anhedonia at all. i tried to kill myself a week before i turned 18, because i had plans and dreams that were ruined, my childhood was also ruined, my future was ruined. i couldn't take it anymore. i survived and found out it has been drug induced brain dysfunction this whole time. i have immense hatred towards my parents and the doctors. i stopped playing games 2 years ago, i picked up this game and somehow finished it. it shows exactly whats going on in me. the loss of interest and connection with people, the feeling of my heart locked away. i am so glad i played this game, even if i don't feel anything(it's worse than any condition you can imagine. especially combined with depression and suicide thoughts), even though everyday is hell on earth for me, i will get better, because the demon is only alive because i am alive. when i get better, i will expose the evil psychiatry killing people around the world, spreading the lie that everybody have depression and everybody needs to take these drugs because they are "safe". they ruined my life, i won't let them ruin more. i hope i will be back here one day and be a proud person knowing i made a difference in saving people that struggled just like me. i will fight till i can't anymore, in this war against the demon alone.

很好