Crusader Kings III

Put bannerlord and total war into this game and I'll never even need another game.

- Didnt know how to play this game
- Played as Vassal of my friend who was King
- Got lost in spam of event windows
- clicked accept on everything
- accidentaly spent night with wife of my King
- she got pregnant and we had son
- exposed her
- my friend got mad - killed her, sent kid to prison and declared war to me
- I explained that she came to me and required to spend night with her and that it was not my idea
- my friend ended war against me
- we turned off game
- never played this Save again
10/10 I have true friend

This is the best video game I've ever played. Gamers who love medieval history and storytelling - this is it. I've played countless games over years and I remember every single one vividly. Perfect blend of character-driven roleplaying and grand strategy. THE game.

So you think you're ready for Crusader Kings III, huh? You fired up Steam, saw the words “grand strategy,” and thought you were about to play a nice little game of Risk with knights and castles. No. You’re not ready. Nothing can prepare you for the generational hellscape of betrayal, incest, witchcraft, and passive-aggressive Pope drama you’re about to unleash.
This isn't a strategy game. This is a medieval chaos simulator, duct-taped to a family tree that looks like it was drawn by a spider on meth. You don’t play a character—you play their entire bloodline, across centuries of bad decisions, aggressive inbreeding, and mysterious “hunting accidents.”
You start off with a decent ruler. Charismatic. Just. Beloved by their vassals. Naturally, they die choking on a chicken leg during a feast. You’re now playing as their 6-year-old heir who’s terrified of birds, has a lisp, and is somehow already an alcoholic.
From here, it’s a slow-motion dynastic car crash. Your vassals hate you. Your siblings are plotting against you. Your aunt is trying to seduce your husband. Your court physician keeps suggesting “leech therapy” for everything, including syphilis, cancer, and a stubbed toe.
And yet... you love it.
The actual gameplay? It’s a paradox of emotions. One moment you're reforming the kingdom’s laws, carefully arranging alliances through strategic marriages. The next, your rival queen has called you a “naked coward” during a feast, and you're now plotting her murder with your court jester and a bag of bees.
Stress mechanics? Amazing. Every time you go against your character’s nature—say, executing a heretic when you’re compassionate—you gain stress. Enough stress, and you start snapping like a medieval rubber band. This means your noble ruler could spiral into full-blown depression because someone insulted their embroidery skills.
You’ll spend hours trying to create a pure bloodline of genius warrior-poets, only to realize your heir is an obese lunatic who believes he's literally descended from a bear. Oh, and he's married his first cousin. Twice.
Wars? You can fight them. But why do that when you can simply marry someone with a claim to the kingdom, murder half their family, and “inherit” it in what historians will politely call “a series of unfortunate events”?
Also, let’s talk about religion. You can literally invent your own. You can create a faith that encourages cannibalism, nudity, and human sacrifice, and then demand everyone take it seriously. The Pope hates you. You love it. You are the Pope now.
Multiplayer? Oh yes. Want to play with friends? Prepare to witness the absolute worst sides of humanity. One friend will seduce your spouse, another will excommunicate you, and a third will “accidentally” press a claim on your kingdom and burn your capital down. The good news? You can stab all of them. It’s the CK3 way.
Final Verdict:
Crusader Kings III is not a game. It’s a medieval family drama written by a drunk raccoon with a PhD in backstabbing and no understanding of genetics. It’s confusing, ridiculous, and often downright cursed—but once you start, you can’t stop. It’s digital crack for history nerds with god complexes.
10/10. Would marry my sister to a lunatic duke, steal his title, imprison her for “treason,” and then die of stress while possessed by demons again.
Long live House Dumpsterfire.

As someone in my mid-30s with three decades of video game experience, I write these overviews with a focus on how games fit into an adult life full of responsibilities. The criteria are deliberately subjective - check out my other reviews to see what resonates with you. These ratings are practical descriptions, not meant to be converted into numbers.
━━Resonance Score━━
⬜ Left a lasting mark
☑️ Will definitely revisit
⬜ One and done
⬜ Didn't finish
⬜ Wouldn't purchase again
━━Breakdown━━
Initial Feel
⬜ Instantly hooked
☑️ Grew on me
⬜ Took time to appreciate
⬜ Never quite clicked
Mechanical Flow
⬜ Perfectly polished
⬜ Satisfyingly smooth
☑️ Takes getting used to
⬜ Never feels quite right
⬜ Actively frustrating
Schedule Flexibility
⬜ Perfect for micro-sessions
⬜ Easy to pause and resume
☑️ Needs dedicated time blocks
⬜ Requires long uninterrupted sessions
Hook Level
☑️ "Where did my evening go?"
⬜ Regularly loses track of time
⬜ Balanced engagement
⬜ Natural stopping points
⬜ Easy to walk away
Mental Engagement Required
⬜ Podcast Game
☑️ Split Focus Friendly
⬜ Active Focus
⬜ Full Concentration needed
Learning Curve
⬜ Intuitive flow
⬜ Rewarding challenge
☑️ Steep but fair
⬜ Frustratingly complex
Break-Friendly Design
⬜ Easy to remember mechanics
☑️ Needs refresher time
⬜ Steep re-learning curve
⬜ Like starting from scratch
Aesthetic Impact
⬜ Sensory Masterpiece
☑️ Artistically Cohesive
⬜ Distinctively Styled
⬜ Mismatched Elements
⬜ Notably Lacking

Please watch the pricing with the DLC.. the upcoming chapter costs as much as the base game and there is nowhere near that amount of new content. I will not be purchasing it until it is least 50% off.. no matter how good the reviews are.
There are other games to play.
Stop being greedy at the expense of your fans.

Be me start as a petty king and gains land
Plague infects the land and I ignore it
Die
My young son inherits the throne
dies from the same plague moments later
My daughter takes the throne
Immediately factions try to overthrow her
Defeat all factions and stabilise the land and the kingdom is stronger than ever
Die from plague again
10/10